She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Randomize
