Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs