Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I fill condoms, not promises.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
