so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots