She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.