Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
