i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
