having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
