She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
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of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
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You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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