we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
