planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
