have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
