just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
