Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have fence marks all over my body
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize