Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
