omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
