He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize