i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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