I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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