Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
