We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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