Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she told me i tasted like america
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
