I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
