I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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