I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize