There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
