chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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