I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
