My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
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He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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