I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
