Non-Jews are for practice
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
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