blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
