There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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