I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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