didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
