Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
