she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
