It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
