i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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