She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I will be naked everywhere
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
