You can't special order awesome
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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