My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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