How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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