Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
