Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
