Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
