Small penises have feelings too.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
They have beer where we have blood.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
