just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
