Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Semen is not good for contacts.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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