Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
