you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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