she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
