I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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