Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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