we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
my poor anus
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
