I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
