he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The uberlube is also flammable
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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