we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
