It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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