she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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