All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
