after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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