and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
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the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
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She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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