I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize