there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize