How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
