What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
