i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
and she was petting her beer can
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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