Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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